I went to an SA meeting tonight and a guy presented his First Step. Basically, he told his story, though it's in a Q&A format. It was very powerful for the dozen sex addicts who heard it. And for him, of course -- the first time he had ever told his whole story to a group.
He had some interesting lines that I definitely identified with.
Of his acting out, he said: "I sink into a depressive celebration of the senses."
He said he also suffered from "the inability to experience joy." he said: "I see negativity as one of my addictions."
That has befallen me at times, though at other times I am quite the optimist. And happy.
As I was jotting down notes from his First Step, I saw some quotes from others that I have written over the last two years that I have been in the program. A statement by one of our wisest members -- with several years of sobriety -- really struck me:
"Anything I put in front of my recovery I'm going to lose anyway."
That's what I did with my lover. Maybe what I'm still doing. And I need to not do that. With God's help, and the help of the program, I believe I can put recovery first....
Hope
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